I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
