I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
