I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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