I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
