I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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