Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
