Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
