My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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