dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
