Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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