That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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