kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My pussy is not your playground.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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