I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the liver wants what the liver wants
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
