I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
