I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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