Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
