I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
