apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
