So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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