help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
