My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
