Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
