Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
