i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
