I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
FUCK WHALES
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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