How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
