new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
