we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
