love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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