Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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