Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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