all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
