Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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