id be glad to
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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