Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
