I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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