All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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