she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
