Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
