I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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