Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
