I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
