I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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