It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
