We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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