Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
