vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
