wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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