Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
