he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
