So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
