If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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