I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
