im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
this will be a night to untag.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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