We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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