it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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