I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
