Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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