I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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