Already got asked if we're dating
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
