i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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